Ethics of Healing: Navigating Generational Wounds and Energy Consent

Have you ever grappled with the weight of inherited trauma or found yourself repeating patterns that trace back generations in your family?
Today's episode Christina takes you through the nuanced journey of healing generational wounds, where we scrutinize the ethics of addressing ancestral issues that aren't directly ours.
Navigating the transformative process of breaking generational patterns, Christina shares personal stories that reveal the profound effects of ancestral healing. With a respectful nod to each individual's path, she probes the delicate balance of offering healing and the power of choice in accepting or rejecting these interventions.

The flipside of exploring the ethics of healing, is around the subtleties of energy healing and the contentious topic of consent. Comparing the intentions behind prayer with those of energy work, I open up about my personal stance on the matter, highlighting the importance of respecting boundaries and the beauty of unconditional offerings of love and light. T
The episode also presents a compelling segment on aligning your mind, heart, body, and spirit, complete with a quiz designed to steer you towards personal harmony.
You can learn all about that here. www.spirituallyawareliving.com/quiz

Christina Fletcher is a Spiritual Alignment coach, energy worker, author, speaker and host of the podcast Showing Up Whole.
She specialises in practical spirituality and integrating inner work with outer living, so you can get self development off of the hobby shelf and integrated as a powerful fuel to your life.

Through mindset, spiritual connection, intuitive guidance, manifestation, and mindfulness techniques Christina helps her clients overcome overwhelm and shame to find a place of flow, ease, and deep heart-centered connection.
Christina has been a spiritual alignment coach, healer and spiritually aware parent coach for 7 years and trained in Therapeutic Touch 8 years ago. She is also a meditation teacher and speaker.
For more information please visit her website www.spirituallyawareliving.com

Want to uncover where you need the most energy alignment?
Take her new Energy Alignment Quiz to identify which of your energetic worlds (mind, body, heart or spirit) needs aligning the most!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi and welcome back to Showing Up Whole the place where we discuss alignment in mind, body, heart and spirit in every aspect of our lives. Today, I want to actually talk about a topic that's incredibly important to my own personal life, and that is one of healing. One of healing An interesting question came up in our Facebook community this last week, talking about the ethics around healing, and I want to dive into that a little bit deeper with you here today. I was actually asking a range of questions within the Facebook community because I have a brand new project that is being birthed right now. I have started a Substack account and, for those of you who aren't aware, substack is like a blogging home for a range of writers that get then sent directly to your inbox. It's a great way of actually creating some community, of some commenting around content and really deep diving into some great conversations. I'm using it as a way of pulling us back all the way back to basics in all of the things we discuss. So, rather than going into massive deep dives over on Substack, I'm looking at going into some more foundational concepts to make sure that we have all those building blocks in place. However, in this conversation, this amazing question around ethics, around healing came up around. Ethics around healing came up and I had to kind of reshuffle around all of my content planning and dive into this one instead, because I found it such an important thing to discuss.

Speaker 1: 1:54

I actually was recently on a different podcast interview on someone else's podcast and we were talking about generational trauma and the healing of others, and so this all ties in to a range of different ways. Okay, so let's talk about the ethics of healing. What are we talking about there? There's two different ways of actually approaching this and in this podcast interview because why not? We're going to approach both we have the ethics of healing, such as generational trauma, which is what the question in the group was actually focused on. It was really about how can we ethically clear out generations or ancestral trauma when it doesn't actually belong specifically to you. The other question around ethics of healing is one that I actually come up against often, because, as healers amongst energy healers, there's always this question, or wondering whether it is ethical to offer healing to someone who you haven't actually asked if they want it. All right, so let's just divide those two up and actually let's first clear up the latter one on this all right, because this is actually a very simple way of answering this and it's my own personal perspective and approach.

Speaker 1: 3:33

As someone who was raised in the church, who was raised religiously, I got very used to the concept of prayer. If someone was in trouble, it was a very simple thing to well say prayers and there was never a question of should we ask for permission to say a prayer. And I really do approach energy healing in the same light. When you look at energy healing, when you look at healing in general, what you are doing is you are holding up a frequency, an energetic imprint, a light, if you will, which then you hold up to the other person. They can take it or not.

Speaker 1: 4:20

I have, in my healing experience, offered healing to someone and literally felt them push back against that healing. They have said no. If I had gone to a person and said, hey, would you like some healing? There's a very good chance that they might not cognitively be able to understand what I'm talking about with a healing, however spiritually they would recognize it. Now, if I go energetically to someone and in a healing I offer it to them, then they're very easy. It is very easy for them to energetically say no, this isn't the right time, you're not the right person, I don't want it, leave me alone. I've had it happen time and time again literally a pushback, and sometimes my people, who, quite honestly, has surprised me that I assumed that that was in their wheelhouse. I've even had one or two times where a person has cognitively, intellectually, said yes, please, and when I've gone into an energetic field and into that space to offer that healing, they're energetically, spiritually, they've said no, not ready. I don't want this to change. And so, therefore, in my mind and in my heart, I truly believe that you can offer healing and offer love and offer light to absolutely anyone, with or without their permission, cognitive permission. What you cannot do is, if you go to offer it, if you are an energy healer, if you go to offer it, you have no right to attempt to change their mind. If you feel a pushback, if you feel like they aren't ready, you have no right to then cross that boundary and say no, my will is that you receive this.

Speaker 1: 6:22

When I was learning energy healing, when I started in this path, you know I was learning energy healing. When I started in this path, you know I was I was taught to understand the power of words and and the simple shift between the words such as give and offer, and as soon as I felt the different energetic frequency of those two intentions, I really started to adopt the idea of offer. So my ethical boundary within offering healing, or any energy healing that I take part in, is to offer it, which means that I don't force it, and that is where I will always go. When people say, well, did you get this person's permission? I will say I will offer it and they can always energetically assimilate it or they can refuse it. Okay, so so that's that ethical line and I wanted to kind of just clear that up.

Speaker 1: 7:26

And it's funny because you know, anyone who's on my email list knows that I sign all my emails as love and light. That is what that is. It's not just some light, fluffy phrase. It is always an offering of love and light that I send out to anyone I write an email to, because I hold space for that. That's what I do. It is my joy and path and purpose to do my best and I might not succeed all the time but to do my best to hold space for your spiritual wholeness, your whole self. I do my best to see each person as their divine self, and sometimes actions and things get in the way of that. Sometimes even cognitive processing get in the way of that. But that is what my ideal is and that's what I want to hold space for. So I hope that answers that section of that question.

Speaker 1: 8:26

Now, so let's look at this deeper one. All right, let's talk a little bit about generational trauma a little bit, and let's talk about those in your ancestral line and when I say ancestral line, I mean I have a tendency to kind of throw in grandparents and great grandparents. I begin this ancestral line rather early on, so let's just talk a little bit about that, because I find it a fascinating thing to actually explore the ethics of healing your ancestral line's past or trauma. What is generational trauma? What is ancestral trauma? What are we talking about here? All right, so let's just focus in on the fact that you have, say, a grandparent or a great grandparent and they had a traumatic experience.

Speaker 1: 9:20

Whenever I talk about generational trauma, I often talk about my grandmother, who I never actually was able to meet because she passed before I was born, but she had a very, very complicated past, a very hard life. Love you Grandma. She was, you know, divorced at a time that people didn't divorce. Was, you know, divorced at a time that people didn't divorce. She actually had a very traumatic childhood of her literally being put in an orphanage by her father when her mother passed and then going back to his house when she was old enough to kind of help around there. It was a deep place of heaviness and, honestly, I do know that there's been a lot of times where I have felt my grandmother wanting to be involved with me and yet, at the same time I knew that sometimes the stories of her past kept her in a place of the person she was. Okay, let's unpack that a little bit.

Speaker 1: 10:34

Sometimes the stories that we tell about others, even people who have done horrible, horrible things to us, even people who are done horrible, horrible things to us, even people who, um, are just slightly irritating, the stories we tell about others hold them energetically in a place so that, therefore, then they can't move on to wholeness or move on even just to the light, are our impressions of people, and the stories we tell around our past can keep things in limbo. So, in that realm, when we talk about the ethics of healing, that's actually a really important want to hold space and hold others into a place of where they can move on and release. Now you can say, well, yeah, but what about this person who did this horrible, horrible thing to me? Like I don't really care what happens to them? Okay, so then let's look at it from the other angle, all right? So when you have a situation where you have you and someone else and it's got negative energy between you, then you create energetic cords and those cords hook into each other. You have some of their energy and they have some of your energy and you're kind of in this locked place. So therefore, it's really important to clear that energy out, to fully find ways of releasing, so that you claim your energy back and then you can give their energy back and they can feel like they can move on and, at the same time, you feel whole against yourself.

Speaker 1: 12:33

It's a powerful time, and the way things have been just isn't working anymore. If you've been feeling disjointed, overwhelmed or scattered, you're not alone. Many are feeling that there's a feeling of needing more. Something's missing. What this feeling tells you is that it's time to claim your inner self and step away from the stories you've been taught to follow. It's time to listen to your heart, to heal your hurts and learn to lean into the universe. Having your back. It's time to take all of that self-help book knowledge and embody it, assimilate it and make it your own.

Speaker 1: 13:13

I'm Christina Fletcher and as a spiritual alignment coach at Energy Healer, I can help you take spirituality off of the hobby shelf and into your everyday, sometimes messy life so you can truly show up whole. Through coaching courses, books and more, I make sure you have practical tools to support you through these challenging times. To learn more, check out my website spirituallyawarelivingcom, where you'll find information on how I work, as well as a free guide to releasing the beliefs that have been holding you back. I look forward to connecting with you. Love and light.

Speaker 1: 13:48

Where does this come into the ethics of generational trauma? Well, quite honestly, where does this come into the ethics of generational, generational hurt that you know they needed to hold their tongue or they needed to behave a certain way, or etc. Etc. Etc. So generational trauma shows up because the hurt gets passed down in how people react and it's not until someone stops reacting and instead observing and instead starts loving and instead starts healing, that that generational line can redirect and it can create a smooth transition. And you know we talk about breaking generational curses. That's what that is, you know it's. It's always like okay, like, for instance, another good way of kind of wrapping this around. You know, it's always interesting.

Speaker 1: 15:10

Say, say we talk about, about, well, certain health issues. Right, sometimes you might have a health issue and we might see that, as you know, passed down through blood or it's like, oh, it's in the family and your mother is cooking the same meals that her grandmother or your grandmother cooked, and that was a recipes that were passed down, and so everybody's eating the same, or living the same lifestyle, or accepting certain habits that everybody just, well, this is how my mother did it, or this is how my grandmother did it. This is just what we do. It's just subconscious, it's just habitual. It's just what we do. It's just subconscious, it's just habitual, it's just what we do and not realizing until someone actually looks at those habits and says, oh, actually, you know what? This is actually really unhealthy. You know we've actually discovered a lot over the years and you know we need to eat like this. Or you know it's like, if you considered when people used to think smoking was healthy.

Speaker 1: 16:17

You know there's a lot of different things that have been passed down, that if you don't stop and observe it for yourself, then all of a sudden you just continue the generational curse, and so that's also part of healing and you want to be a little aware of the concepts of ethics within this realm. Because, first of all, everybody has a spiritual being of themselves. Everyone has a higher self. Many people aren't aware of that version of themselves, so they live in the reactionary world of being human and so everyone's just in that reactional space. But when you actually offer a clearing, when you actually say I surround you in love and I hold you in wholeness and I wish you all well, and now I'm going to claim my energy back and I'm going to chart my path which is basically what generational healing is Then, oh, honestly, your ancestors will celebrate. I love it in an energy healing when I'm working with a client and all of a sudden you just feel that client, surrounded by all of their spiritual team, which is so often made up of all the people that have loved them and all the people who have moved on already from their family, and you can just feel them celebrate. You can feel them saying, ah, you're doing what I was not able to do and I am cheering you on, you know.

Speaker 1: 18:00

Going back to talking about my grandmother, you know, she, it was an interesting thing because I always felt like she was near and I was really excited to work with her because I was like, oh, you know, you're going to be such a great. You know, I'm going to have her on my spirit team. This is so exciting. I can feel her close, she's trying to get my attention and I don't know what that's going to look like. And I, I worked with a coach and we sat for a session and she was an energy healer and we were working and I just asked. I was like, hey, do you ever get anything from my grandmother? You know, from my field. And she's like, oh yeah, she actually wants you to do a bit of healing work for her. And I was.

Speaker 1: 18:37

I was actually really quite upset. I was like what I really wanted to get to know my grandmother on this other level and I needed her advice and I need her help. And I, you know, I want to know from that perspective and instead I have to do healing work. A deep dive into the stories that were being held around her and surrounding them in light and letting them dissolve and letting some of the cords that were held through stories, through impressions, letting them be released so then she could be herself, surrounding her in love and being able to say Grandma, you're whole again. And after that she has become a very strong guide within me and for me and I'll often come to her with different complications or challenges that I'm having, when she feels like the right one to approach. So it's a fascinating thing when you give yourself permission first of all, to not see some of this work as too much of a big deal. Anyone who knows me knows that I am pretty casual with my teams and with any of the spiritual energies that are around. So it's an interesting thing when you can actually just shift it to being part of you.

Speaker 1: 20:22

It's not a big deal to clear out cords. It doesn't have to be a big deal to heal. There's an interesting rhythm in that. It doesn't have to be a big deal to heal because at a certain point you have to decide you're ready, because you can only offer healing for anyone else, even if you're dealing with ancestors from the great beyond. It's up to them whether they accept that shift or not.

Speaker 1: 20:53

And, quite frankly, you are not allowed. Where the ethics comes into place is you are not allowed to go and force it. This is not a question of saying I will make you heal so I feel better. That is where the ethical line has to be drawn. You are not allowed to go into anyone else's storyline, living or past and say I am forcing this because I need to feel better. You need to heal. Instead, all you can do is clear out the energy, claim your energy back and release any of the other energy from your field and surround in love and surround in wholeness and say I offer you healing and light. Go to the light, feel the light. May you be free of your own stuff. I offer that. And then you surround in love, you surround in light and then you get back on your own track.

Speaker 1: 21:58

We live in a society that often will tell you that it's selfish to focus on yourself, and it's just not true, because yourself is the only thing you can really focus on in a lot of ways. Now, I say that with a little bit of a caveat in that, because the thing is is that when you focus on yourself and you're aware of how you're feeling then and you're focused on alignment within yourself. It's not about your reactions, it's not about those everyday annoyances, it's actually going. How do I align to my better self? How do I align to my better self? How do I align to my better self and constantly be focusing on what do you need to do? Then, suddenly, you help you heal when you feel the call to do so, you will know.

Speaker 1: 22:54

And it feels better to love than to not. It feels better to be kind than to not. It feels better to be kind than to not. It feels better to heal than to not. It feels better to surround in light than to hold that light back. So that's the sort of selfishness I mean. I mean, you don't want to withhold it. It feels horrible to withhold it Now. At the same time, you can't force anyone to heal. So instead you offer the love and then you go back to aligning within yourself. Offer the love and align within yourself, align within yourself and offer the love. And you know again, like it's always so funny, because I remember I think it was an Abraham Hicks quote where they said you know anyone who tells you you're being selfish. Just remember that in many ways, it's because they want your focus on them, which in itself is self-centered and selfish. So instead, look at it from an ethical place of being love, and love has to flow.

Speaker 1: 24:14

Remember, a couple of weeks ago on the podcast, I talked about resistance and that sense of constriction and or ease, and the sense of what feels constricted, what feels like you're holding on to energy and what feels like you're letting it flow. And if you didn't hear that episode, then I highly recommend that you skip back a few and check it out. I want you to feel into this a little tiny bit, because when we talk about ethics around anything, we're using our minds, we're using our intellect, and I want you to lean into, instead, what your heart tells you on individual situations, because that's going to be where you get that information from. You're going to get the information of when to offer healing and when to hold and when to not when it won't be accepted. You're going to know by how you feel in your heart. Now you're going to feel. One's going to feel lighter, one's going to feel tight, one's going to feel flowing, one's going to feel constricted, one's going to feel of love. The other one's going to maybe feel a fear. So align to your own guidance within this. Okay, now I'm going to do another little thing in here too, because I want to remind you that it's really important to keep attention to where you are in your alignment at all times. If you're having a bad day, hold off from doing any dinner work.

Speaker 1: 25:54

Work on the alignment first. Where do you need to align? Do you need to align in your head? Do you need to align in your heart? Do you need to align in your heart? Do you need to align in your body? Do you need to align in your spirit? Four worlds, four aspects, four different ways of alignment, and it's really important to remember this. I can't I can't stress this enough, because we can run the healing hamster wheel and it's vitally important to instead embody and refocus into exactly where you need to align. So, if you haven't already go over, check my quiz. Just take the quiz on where you need to align. It will take you through some questions and tell you exactly what world you need aligning to at the moment and give you a few ideas and tips on that. Otherwise, tap into your heart space and listen within yourself. Align first and remember. You will also be able to hear your own ethical stance, just like I have around this issue and all of this. Follow your heart, sending you all my love and light. Take care.