Showing Up Whole

Do You Really Want What You Want?: Aligning To Your Purpose and Inner Desire

• Christina Fletcher • Season 4 • Episode 23

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What if the things you think you want—the perfect home, career, or relationship—aren’t the real goal?
 In this episode, Christina explores the profound truth about desire: what you really want isn’t the thing itself but how you imagine it will make you feel.

Christina dive into the essence of beingness and uncover how to align with the feelings you seek, whether it’s freedom, joy, connection, or peace. You’ll learn to untangle surface-level wants from your true heart’s desire and how to step into the state of being that fulfills you now.

If you’ve ever felt stuck chasing goals or wondered why you don’t truly want what you thought you did, this episode will resonate deeply. It’s an invitation to shift from doing to being—and find the clarity and fulfilment you’ve been seeking all along.

Discover:

  • The importance of aligning with your authentic self.
  • How to shift from “wants” and “shoulds” to true inner desires.
  • The magic of creating an intentional new year by releasing the past and leaning into how you want to feel.
  • Why our energy and essence are the foundations of attracting experiences that resonate deeply.

Christina also shares insights from her upcoming workshop, Creating an Intentional New Year, where she helps participants release old patterns and align with their unlimited potential.

Get ready to explore how to manifest from your authentic energy and step into 2025 as your truest self.

The Energy Reset Circle is Christina's powerful Membership program designed to support your individual journey with community, meditation and practical spiritual tools. Sign up now before the price increases! 

Keywords: alignment, personal growth, creating intentions, perimenopause, holiday stress, Energy Reset Circle, Danielle Laporte, authentic living, manifestation, New Year planning

Christina Fletcher is a Spiritual Alignment coach, energy worker, author, speaker and host of the podcast Showing Up Whole.
She specialises in practical spirituality and integrating inner work with outer living, so you can get self development off of the hobby shelf and integrated as a powerful fuel to your life.

Through mindset, spiritual connection, intuitive guidance, manifestation, and mindfulness techniques Christina helps her clients overcome overwhelm and shame to find a place of flow, ease, and deep heart-centered connection.
Christina has been a spiritual alignment coach, healer and spiritually aware parent coach for 7 years and trained in Therapeutic Touch 8 years ago. She is also a meditation teacher and speaker.
For more information please visit her website www.spirituallyawareliving.com

Want to uncover where you need the most energy alignment?
Take her new Energy Alignment Quiz to identify which of your energetic worlds (mind, body, heart or spirit) needs aligning the most!

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Christina Fletcher:

Hi and welcome back to Showing Up Whole the place where we discuss alignment in mind, body, heart and spirit, in every aspect of our lives. As we find ourselves mid-December, leaning into traditional patterns, habits and spaces that we've known before. Today, let us dive into the deepest alignment within yourself the question of desires, the question of wants, the question of intentions and how. Perhaps this year is different. Hi and welcome back.

Christina Fletcher:

I've found myself over the last few weeks, months, perhaps this entire year, really poking around my own sense of intention and alignment. As you know, I've spoken a number of times about how my life has been taking various shifts this year. There's been a lot of lessons for myself personally. There's been a lot of new growth and a lot of letting go. There's been transitions of parenting. There's been transitions of the passing of our family dog. There has been transitions in household dichotomies and transitions within myself. Now that can be the physical realigning of hormonal pathways, I suppose with perimenopause. But at the same time there's also these shifts of understanding myself at a deeper level, and what I always find fascinating is I can sit there with my membership group every Sunday over in the Energy Reset Circle and everyone is saying the same thing, there's magic in the air and that's showing up in often uncomfortable changes. Showing up in often uncomfortable changes. And so today I want to dive into how we navigate those changes and how times of these celebrations, these times of holiday seasons which is globally acknowledged and these times where, you know Gilmore Girl style, you kind of say I smell snow, you feel Christmas in the air, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, you feel this traditional tunnel approaching and then you ask yourself if you want to.

Christina Fletcher:

This year feels different. This year feels different. And as I walk through the grocery store aisles and I see that advent calendars are well in stock and well reduced, whereas two years ago, when my kids wanted them on December 1, I struggled to find one I find myself thinking this is not just me and this isn't just my own journey, but my own journey is just part of this colossal global shift and it's really time we noticed it and also not be afraid of it. The inner and the outer, the outer and the inner they are always reflecting back between each other and while you can look at the outer and say, oh, my goodness, that feels so overwhelming and I don't know what I'm going to do, how do I have any role in this? The truth of the matter is is the only thing you can control is your inner. So now is the time. Now is the time to be diving deeper into the sense of what does that even mean?

Christina Fletcher:

This is the time of year where I know so many people push back on the idea of a New Year's. You know so many people just want to say, well, it's just another day. Or so many people say, well, the end of the year, what does it matter? It's not even the right calendar, it's not like it's in the stars, I go. Why does it matter? We have a collective consciousness acknowledging that on January 1st we're going to write a different date Seems like a good new beginning to me. Why not claim it? So let's claim it, and let's claim it right, here and now.

Christina Fletcher:

How do you shift your intention into a space where you really are aligning to what you've become? So you start with the simple questions, and it's really interesting because today I just went for a walk in our orchard and I started tapping into what that meant for me. You know, every year I offer a workshop online and also in Glastonbury. I do two versions, and the workshop is focused on how to create an intentional new year. What's the fresh start? How do you align to your fresh start every year? And we take the year that's been and we acknowledge what's been there and we dig deep into what worked, what didn't work, what was aligned, what was authentic, what was real and what really needs to be released. And I release that with you and I take you through processes to help you align to the new. And then, through a little bit of ritual and a little bit of magic and a little bit of meditation, we cross the threshold of the year. And by crossing the threshold of the year, then we start feeling into what in this unlimited potential space is possible and what you really want. And on this walk through my orchard, that was where I started what do I want? And then the question is is what I want, what I want to want, or is it what I really want? Let's take that again Is what I want what I want, or is it what I want to want?

Christina Fletcher:

We talk about shoulds, we talk about the sense of well, you should be like this and you should live this life and you should have these things and you should check all these boxes. And we know we've talked about this for a while right, we know that that is not how you live an authentic, integral life. You have to release the shoulds. I'm sure I've done a podcast on this in the past. I'm sure I'll be doing it another one. We don't need to talk about that today. But you have to release the shoulds. So then you're left with your inner callings, right, your own inner guidance system, and those give you nudges of what you desire and what you want and what feels authentic to you.

Christina Fletcher:

But it's a funny thing, those brains of ours, because the brains love to say, ooh, you know what would be cool. The brain loves to say I want, I want to travel through the Mediterranean and I want to have massages on the beach and I want to have the luxury of abundance of my favorite sparkling water every day. I don't know this is coming at the top of my head, but you know we want to want things, or we think that's what you want. Isn't that what everybody wants? Or you know it's like well, I want financial freedom. I want, you know, 2.5 kids with the dog and the white picket fence. You know, 2.5 kids with the dog and the white picket fence.

Christina Fletcher:

The fine line of shoulds and wanted, wants is an interesting one. What do you really want? That's where life gets very interesting, because the truth of the matter is is you only ever really want something because you think it's going to make you feel good. Then push it a little further. You only really want something because you think you're going to make you feel more like yourself, you think it's going to be aligned to your purpose. You want something deeply, want something in the long run because you feel like it's going to be fulfilling and satisfying and it's going to give you joy.

Christina Fletcher:

The practices in the workshop that I offer are often based on the works of Daniel Laporte, the desire map. I'm taking it different places a little bit this year because I want to lean. Even in every year we evolve a little bit more, and so therefore, the workshop always changes a little bit because it's time to catch up with the evolvement. But still, the concept of the desire map that you tap into how you want to feel and then you find steps to feel the way you want to feel is an important one. So we do approach it differently when we set a true, intentional new year of leaning into how you actually want to feel, rather than the aloof wants of wants, wanted wants.

Christina Fletcher:

You know, so much of the lives we live are outside of us. So much of the lives we live are in these false avatars that we put ourselves. In this sense of I will look like this person when I'm like that, I will attract these types of people, these types of experiences, this type of reflection of myself outside there, when I really want it. We look at the growth of our lives in many ways represented by what we're manifesting, doing air quotes here, what we're manifesting from the outside perceptions, and I actually want to say that here we are, headed into 2025, it's time to do it a little differently. It is time to manifest from the authentic version of you, to put your attention on perhaps the vulnerable place of resonating the most as you. What is the frequency of you? This is so exciting to dive into. This is taking the ideologies of law of attraction or the ideologies of manifestation and vibration and frequency into new places. And yet the original place.

Christina Fletcher:

You are your own essential essence. You are your own energy. You have a special tonality that is all your own. And how do we know this? We know this because people could read a letter that you wrote or an email that you wrote and know it's from you, because it feels like you. You could walk into a room behind a whole group of people who know you well and they will know that you've come in. You know my sisters and I. We all sound alike and we call up, and we'll call up my mother, and it's very rare for her not to know who's on the other end. She might call us by the wrong name, but she still knows who we are and I mean that's what I'll do with my own kids. Sometimes I go through a list of them, but it is still a thing where she knows our essences. You know your kids' essences. You know your family's essences. You know, by your own energetic field, who you feel comfortable around and who you recognize. You recognize. Perhaps you're even lucky enough to have recognized the people in your life without even knowing them. Yet. I know with my husband that's what it was. It was a recognition of souls because I knew his energy. I knew who he was. You have your own distinct energy.

Christina Fletcher:

I'm actually coming to realize that many, many people in their lives live their lives never actually knowing themselves on that level. You know, when you see someone walking fully in their skin Perhaps it's someone who has been on the earth for a while and you just take one look at them and you're like you embody yourself so well. They just embody themselves. I was just watching a video with Dick Van Dyke and you know, you just see he is so himself. You do the same with someone like Judi Dench, or even maybe Marianne Williamson or the Dalai Lama. You see these people and you go.

Christina Fletcher:

You're you, you're just you, you resonate as yourself, and to me, isn't that the deepest goal? Isn't that, when you go, it stops being about reaching and instead it moves into being. It's a deep resonance and in my mind, that is a wonderful life pursuit, the pursuit of being so aligned to yourself that not only are you acting as yourself, but you're resonating as yourself, and that energy that is radiating from you builds momentum, and then you start to attract experiences that create more of that same feeling. So, therefore, then, the more you feel like yourself, the more you feel like yourself, and the more you feel like yourself, the more you feel like yourself and the more you feel like yourself, and it's not so much of these big wants, which, of course, in law of attraction lingo, everyone says well, if you want something, then all the universe is hearing is the want. So we could go down there. That's not, but it still is the question of what if it's actually not about acknowledging the journey or the destination, but what if it's actually being on the journey and watching the journey grow. Journey and watching the journey grow?

Christina Fletcher:

You know, I always love hitting record on a podcast just when I'm on the leading edge of my own understanding. It's exciting to me to share with you the concepts that bubble up where, all of a sudden, you go okay, so another year is almost done and as that year is almost done, we are headed into a new understanding. And as we're headed into new understanding because we have all this knowledge, 2024 was a time of knowledge gathering. 2024, as every year is is a bundle of energetic experiences. I literally sat with the other day and this is something I've actually been offering with clients that I will share with them, that you know I mapped out my year. I went through my year in January, month by month by month, and I wrote out in my journal. I wrote out what happened in each month, and then I would take my pendulum and I would ask my pendulum whether there was anything that needs to be cleared out from every month. So again, like this is I've done this with a few clients already that we've kind of just gone okay. So what needs to be cleared? What needs to be cleared? We've used a bit of emotion code, we've used a little bit of other things. We've done some energy clearing.

Christina Fletcher:

It's always lovely when you hit a month. It's like no, nothing's showing up. It's like okay, that's good. Moving on, it is a fascinating thing to watch yourself process every month thoroughly.

Christina Fletcher:

Personally, I feel the expansion within that I could feel a shift and a shift and a shift as I process the knowledge from that month. And I'm going to be going back again, which I don't usually do a second reflection over the year. But I'm going to be doing this a few times over the coming weeks because I want to gather the lessons fully and integrate them. We work through layers and I feel that so often we come to the end of the year intellectually. I should do my end of year goals. I need to set intentions. It becomes this intellectual, cognitive processing which doesn't actually do anything, because unless you drop it into your heart, unless you actually allow it to become you, unless you actually say yes. That was hard and I went through it and I'm going to allow that period of time that happened last year transform me into the person I am becoming.

Christina Fletcher:

I'm sensing a lot of solar plexus energy kicking in right now, which, of course, is common at this time of year because you are processing the year. There's also a few cosmic things that are happening that's actually kind of fueling that up. But what do we know about the solar plexus? Your solar plexus is your inner generator. It's your fire. And what happens with your fire? Well, I always see it as a big furnace and basically what you fuel that furnace with is your life experience. So you throw all of your experiences into that furnace and it gets consumed and it becomes fuel for your life force and it burns, and it burns, and it burns and it burns. And what happens when you burn things? Things get forged and what gets forged out of the fire of your solar plexus? Who you really are, your next self, your up-leveled self. It's a brand new energy and yet it's the same, and I love.

Christina Fletcher:

This is what I love about spiritual concepts. I love talking about spirituality. Because you go, well, how can something be the same and different? And you go, well, it's like a cup of tea that gets steeped a little longer. It's still tea, it's just stronger, it has a depth to it, it has a deeper understanding to it. It gets brighter and brighter, and brighter and brighter and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and wider and wider and wider and wider. You up-level, and yet you're still the same essence that you were the day you were born and previous lives before that. Yet you're still the same essence that you were the day you were born and previous lives before that.

Christina Fletcher:

It's important to know yourself and what keeps coming up to me, honestly, is that you know you have these. You have this year and so many people are going into next year with trepidation. One woman even told me she's going into it with dread and there's this sense of wondering what next-ness is. What happens if you anchor into yourself. I believe we're headed into a time where, honestly, it feels like the more you are yourself, the deeper you know yourself, the deeper you firmly have your feet planted on the ground and your energy firmly rooted in yourself. That it's not so much about what you will learn and what you can discover and what you can reach out for and who will guide you. Rather, it's about knowing within yourself and that, well, not to sound too dramatic, but I feel like that's what's going to save the world. I feel it is the inner knowing of ourselves that is going to create the world we want, and I feel like it is the inner knowing of ourselves that's been the quest all along, and I actually feel like a lot of the things the world is facing right now is there on purpose, in order to help you tap into that version of yourself self. It's a fascinating thing to explore the wants of the person you really are. Now I'm going to turn dials a little tiny bit in this and actually, while that simmers before I fully turn dial and I want to kind of actually tiptoe into something a little bit different, let's just take a moment, so listen to this for a sec and I'll be right back.

Christina Fletcher:

Are you tired of sifting through all of the tools and spiritual practices all on your own? The spiritual path can sometimes feel isolating, and yet it is your own unique journey that only you can take. But what if you could have a supportive, loving community, with weekly focuses, uplifting and spiritually connecting meditations and energy healings at the very start of your week to support you on that journey. This is exactly what I provide for you in my Energy Reset Circle membership program. Every Sunday, members gather at 4 pm Eastern, 9 pm British Time for a weekly focus, a meditation and a group healing. No worries if you can't make it live, though, as the replay is sent out directly afterwards as well as stored in your member portal. You also get access to the loving chat on WhatsApp, where you can ask questions, vent or request space from the members there to be held for any challenges in your life. You even get free access to all of my workshops challenges in your life. You even get free access to all of my workshops included in your membership and, starting in 2025, courses and extra videos will be added to the portal on a regular basis, so you can tap in when you really need to.

Christina Fletcher:

Gathering from all corners of the world and from all backgrounds. The fundamental intention within the group is love and support. There's no judgment, no criticism. Advice is only shared when asked for. Rather, it's about your journey being fully supported. You will feel loved and cared for as you walk your path. The focuses, tools and practices I share are intentionally created to support your day-to-day. There's no pressure, no stress, just love. Currently, this magical place is actually only $27 a month, but as of early January, the cost has increased to $47 a month. Don't worry, if you join now, your price won't change. So come join us over at the Energy Reset Circle. Check the link in the show notes or come visit spirituallyawarelivingcom for more information. I hope to see you soon.

Christina Fletcher:

Okay, so here we are, focusing on how to be the deepest versions of ourselves as we approach a new year, and the interesting knowledge that when you're actually embodying your true self, it's not so much about wants.

Christina Fletcher:

Rather, it's about beingness, knowing that you're going to attract different things that amplify the version of yourself the more you are yourself. What I was going to tell you was randomly went to see Wicked with my girls, and while I won't give you any spoilers, I will say that the personal journeys and personal explorations of self was a fascinating thing to witness, and I found myself at the end, because here you have one character who wants things desperately, because she thinks that that's what she wants to want, and yet, when challenged, she finds that in order to be the person she really is, in order to truly claim her power, in order to truly claim herself, she had to ditch the wants that she thought she wanted and instead claim herself In spite of everything. It's a powerful stance, powerful movie, by the way, highly recommend. Not really big on recommending movies. Very often Always seems to everyone always disagrees, but I will say on this one, no powerful experience and my daughters and I enjoyed it greatly.

Christina Fletcher:

But it's really important to lean into who you are. We talk so often in this world of self-development about feeling unworthy, feeling a sense of helplessness or worthlessness, or a sense of wanting to find your purpose, or a sense of confusion and a sense of self-improvement. Always need to do better. We talk about healing, we talk about fixing, we talk about brokenness. I do believe I, with all of the things you don't quite get yet, or the things that you haven't pieced together yet, or the neural pathways that are still hammering. What if with the negative chatter? What if with the sense of longing? What if the sense of confusion? What if the sense of you forgetting that maybe you sense of confusion? What of the sense of you forgetting that maybe you shouldn't get stressed every now and then, shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't? What if, in all of that, this human experience that you are in, it's exactly what you're supposed to be in and you can love yourself anyway? And what if, the minute you switch the switch of to loving yourself anyway and actually diving deeper into yourself and actually being true to yourself? What if, the minute you switch that switch? What if, the moment you settle into yourself, you actually tap into who you really are, the divine version of yourself. The divine version of yourself. And that divine version of yourself allows you to relax, allows you to settle, and as you lean into that version of you, the light within yourself grows brighter. And the stories around healing and brokenness and unworthiness and all of that murky energy that radiates out the more we put attention on it and therefore attracts more things that show us the same. All of a sudden, that melts away because your inner light shines brighter. And the more you shine brighter, the more you attract experiences and reflections of who you really are.

Christina Fletcher:

I talk about wholeness. I talk about wholeness all the time. We know that this is what I talk about. It's what I'm passionate about. I do not want to ever encourage anyone to climb up on a mountain and forget the world exists. And, quite frankly, I want to put my head in my hands and cry a little cry if, whenever I see people talk about how they are really hoping they don't have to come back to this world next time around, because this is part of the journey and we are so lucky to be here, even if, in your current human experience, you're going, christina, you've got to be out of your mind because life is too much. Of course life is too much. Of course there's challenges. Of course everyone's sitting around going what are we doing and what do we do next and how do we actually navigate this? But that's the point.

Christina Fletcher:

The point is is that within all of that clutter and mess that the world currently is in right now, within all of that guess what there is this spark of light, and that spark of light is you. And that spark of light just needs fanning, and it's not going to be fanned by it constantly looking outside of itself. It's only going to be fanned by loving itself, by knowing it's light and by allowing that. Spending time in that frequency. Can I just say I love the fact that every time I come in to do a podcast, I write a few little notes of what to talk about and I rarely look at them. It's the truth.

Christina Fletcher:

But in all of this, I want to encourage you to dive deep into yourself at this time of year. Don't get distracted by the chaos outside of you and don't get distracted by what's out there, by what's out there. Don't get distracted by the shoulds, the desires of other people, the wants of other people. Take some time, take a pause, tap into your heart and give yourself permission to let go of everything you think you want or the things that you want to want. Go of everything you think you want or the things that you want to want. Create space for yourself to actually ask yourself who am I after this year? And if you're literally saying I don't know how to do that, christina, and I don't even know how to find that quiet, then I really want to invite you to join me on December 29th online, where I will be taking people through this.

Christina Fletcher:

We are diving in deep, deeper probably than ever before. We are leaning into truly learning the deepest, essential lessons from 2024. We are creating the space to not only set intentions of how you want to feel and what steps can lead you there, but setting the intention of being truest to yourself. It's going to be magical, it's going to be light, and you are going to be filled with a sense of alignment and fulfillment and wholeness as you cross the threshold into 2025. So I highly encourage you to come and join me. It's going to be powerful. If you are in Glastonbury, though, if you do find yourself near Glastonbury on January 4th, I am offering the same workshop live in Glastonbury on that day. So check out the website. It's all on there. Message me if you need anything. And in all of this, always remember your wholeness is vital, and in all the things you want to want, the deepest desire is to be the best version, the highest version and the truest version of who you really are. All my love.