Showing Up Whole

Deconstructing Religious Doctrine, Reclaiming Yourself: A Conversation with Crystal Dawn

• Christina Fletcher / Crystal Dawn • Season 5 • Episode 13

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In this powerful and liberating conversation, Christina sits down with Crystal Dawn, founder of Crystal Dawn Academy and a leading voice for spiritual sovereignty, feminine empowerment, and reclaiming ancient wisdom beyond religious programming.

Crystal shares her journey growing up as a pastor’s daughter, immersed in purity culture and fundamentalist Christianity, and the moment she had to choose to be true to herself.

She speaks openly about leaving the church, facing shame and conditioning, and finding healing and freedom through uncovering early Christian teachings, the role of the Roman Empire in current religious texts and feminine wisdom traditions.

Together, Christina and Crystal explore:

  • What spiritual sovereignty really means
  • How labels shape identity and learning to step beyond them
  • Witch-wounding and reclaiming the word “witch” as wise woman
  • How the church erased feminine power
  • The mysticism and empowerment at the heart of early Christian teachings
  • Why women are remembering and rising now
  • What it means and how to return to inner authority, intuition, and embodied divinity

This episode is for anyone deconstructing religious conditioning, reclaiming intuition, or honoring the sacred feminine within spiritual practice.

Learn more about Crystal Dawn's work at www.crystaldawnalchemy.com
Follow her on:

IG: @crystaldawnalchemy4
TikTok: @crystaldawnalchemy 

 If you’re exploring your own spiritual freedom, healing from religious conditioning, or reconnecting to your intuitive feminine power… you’re not alone. Share your reflections, ah-ha moments, or personal awakening journey in the comments or message Christina or Crystal directly. 


Download Christina's 3 Practices for Holiday Calm HERE


Christina Fletcher is a Spiritual Alignment coach, energy worker, author, speaker and host of the podcast Showing Up Whole.
She specialises in practical spirituality and integrating inner work with outer living, so you can get self development off of the hobby shelf and integrated as a powerful fuel to your life.

Through mindset, spiritual connection, intuitive guidance, manifestation, and mindfulness techniques Christina helps her clients overcome overwhelm and shame to find a place of flow, ease, and deep heart-centered connection.
Christina has been a spiritual alignment coach, healer and spiritually aware parent coach for 7 years and trained in Therapeutic Touch 8 years ago. She is also a meditation teacher and speaker.
For more information please visit her website www.spirituallyawareliving.com

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Christina Fletcher:

Hello everyone and welcome back to Showing Up Whole, the place where we discuss alignment in mind, body, heart, and spirit in every aspect of our lives. And today we are having a conversation that I've been waiting for for quite a while, because it's one of my very favorite topics. We are talking to Crystal Dawn. And Crystal Dawn is from Crystal Dawn Academy. She is making a lot of waves over on Instagram right now. And she is known for being a voice of spiritual sovereignty and women empowerment. We are going to be talking, oh, a lot about a little bit of deconstructing some religious uh doctrine. We are going to be talking about some magic, maybe some witchy stuff, and we're going to have some fun. Oh yeah. Hi, Crystal. I'm so excited to have you here. Hi, thank you so much. I was so excited to be here. Thank you for having me. As soon as I started seeing your videos pop up, and you know, it's funny because I show them to my whole family. Because like my whole family loves these videos. Because you walk across the screen. Oh, I love it. I must admit my husband is like, is this the woman with the towel on her head? Because sometimes you're wearing a rap. And I'm like, yeah! He's like, oh my god, that's so exciting. My 16-year-old son was like, you get to talk to her, that's so cool. Oh my gosh. Because you have been sharing information that, quite frankly, my whole family is passionate about, and that is really about taking what so many people have known as doctrine, as fact, uh, religious concepts that have been really misunderstood and misconstrued. And you are actually pulling out the roots of them, how the Bible was formed, uh, the true truth. But this is not an easy topic to embark on. It can be very triggering for a lot of people. Um it it rattles the foundations for a lot of people, and yet we are at a time that this is like one of the most important topics to be having. Weirdly enough, it's it's such a random thing to be such an important thing to talk about. But this is important. I know.

Crystal Dawn:

It is important, I totally agree. From from my perspective, it's not something that I ever thought that I would be talking about, truthfully, just because it was it was part of my past, and I thought that though that's just something I just leave behind because it was painful or psychologically um traumatizing, I guess to say the least. Um, but yeah, it's something that I felt called back to after leaving the church, leaving the faith, and now coming back to it, I guess, to reclaim the parts that felt true, but then actually uncovering a whole lot that I wasn't expecting.

Christina Fletcher:

Okay, I want to hear more about that. Like what what was that what was that like? Because you grew up, your your father was in the church, wasn't he? Okay.

Crystal Dawn:

Yes, yeah, my dad was a pastor growing up. So it was I was very involved in the church until I was in my pffth grade year, until I was about 13. Everybody I knew was in the church. Everything I did was part of the church. I even went to school at the church, and then I was homeschooled, then I was a part of the homeschool groups that were in the church. I didn't know anybody outside of church really. Um until I unless I went to like family reunions and then you met the extended family, and then you, you know, you're like, oh, they're the people that go to public school. Oh man, you know. Such a so taboo when you when you're in when you're in that world. It's such a different world. Um, but when I started to actually go to public school when I was 13, it was I was so excited. I was like, this is this is the best. I get to live out what I see in movies. I even even in a small country, bumpkin town, I felt like I was finally going out into the world. Um, and it it was really eye-opening to me in a sense. I felt like I could finally figure out who I was, I could you know explore different ways of doing my hair. I could wear makeup, I could get, you know, different kinds of clothes, I could be popular and things like that. It was it was really cool to finally be out into the world in the real world. However, I definitely met a lot of people who weren't even involved in church, and that was eye-opening to me because I was like, oh no, does that mean you're going to hell? And then it was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that they were going to hell, and then and then the cracks start showing when you start to get out of that world for sure. Um, and it kind of evolved from there. There was a lot of big, big tea traumas that that happened in my teenage years just from being who I was, just from being a human and having that being, you know, taboo and in the Christian community. I was I was the troublemaker, quote unquote, but I was really just being a teenager, really.

Christina Fletcher:

I'm actually really curious about that because I know with my own past, there was kind of this sense of you went out into the world, and I mean, and actually I was homeschooled as well, so I totally relate. You kind of have that, you know, it's like there's this massive, I used to say it was like a glass wall that you could like you you wouldn't, you'd be in the world, but you couldn't like it was like something couldn't get through, and you're like, I don't understand. Did you feel you needed uh like that label, or did you want to ditch that label when you went out into the world?

Crystal Dawn:

Oh wow. So when I first went out into the world, I definitely wore that label, like a I had a chip on my shoulder because like in that community, you really believe you are the chosen ones, you're the righteous ones, you're the ones who know what is right. You know, you're the ones, you're the good ones. Right. And so I definitely had this chip on my shoulder, and my dad even used to call me his little evangelist because I would hand out business cards at school and be like, come to church on Sunday. Now I look back, I'm like, oh, that is that is real cringe. But and even you know, some friends would come. Some friends would come and they would sit very uncomfortably at church. Like, like I remember no, some of them enjoyed it because you know there were some cute boys there and things like that. We were just, you know. But uh, I definitely have been asked, you know, is this a cult? Like, and I would be like, oh my gosh, how how could you ask me that? No, this is not a cult. But no, and now looking back, I want to be like, Crystal, that was that was a cult. That was a cult. But not the kind of cult that you would see on documentaries, nothing like that, but it was it was in it had a lot of its uh cultish themes going on.

Christina Fletcher:

Because no matter what, as soon as anything sways you from your own personal inner calling, your own voice, your own connection, and something else becomes an authority. That kind of defines what a cult is, really.

Crystal Dawn:

Exactly. No, absolutely. Yep, truly, and and it was throughout high school that I really stopped spending a whole lot of time at home. I got like a job, I had a car and driver's license and friends, and I had this almost leading a double life because I was myself with my friends, and then I would go home and and make sure I was at, you know, at church on Sundays. And then it wasn't until I experienced um like the purity culture, big T trauma that I had when I did not um fulfill my promise that I had made to God. I had to sign a contract and wore a purity ring and everything that I was gonna save myself for my husband until marriage. Otherwise, like I was broken. And when I didn't keep that promise, that was a big um, that was a big deal in my family, and they needed to get as much advice, I think, as what they thought that they were doing was asking for prayers and advice. But essentially everybody knew. The church knew, my whole family knew my grandparents, my even my cousins who were missionaries in Mexico, they knew everybody knew. And that was um that was the biggest shame I think I've ever felt my whole life. I had many, many years in therapy just to recover, even as an adult, um, and to deprogram that kind of ideology about who I am and what my body is in this world. And um my very first therapist, because I got really depressed. I got really depressed when I was like 16 because of this, because I I felt like I, I mean, you might as well have just sewn a big A on my shirt and just walked me around. I just felt like that all the time. And unless I was at school. At school, I was normal, right? At school, I just felt like a normal kid. I was a normal teenager, I was experiencing normal coming growing up things. But at home, it was, oh no, there's that one. And not that my parents ever treated me that way, but I definitely felt that way. Um, my parents were doing the best they could. They were also indoctrinated, believed that it was horrible, anyways. Um, but it was my first therapist that ever told me that that was not right, that they did that, that they told everybody. And it was that was the first adult that ever showed me that adults make mistakes, that adults do not know everything and anything. They do not have all the answers. And he was the first person to ever really give me a voice in my family because I was able to tell my parents that and tell them that that was not okay. And they they apologized. Like, really, truly, that was the first time I and then from there I wanted to be a psychologist. I was like, this is great. You like give people freedom. Yeah, absolutely. Yes, truly. So I ended up going to college for that, but that's a whole different story. But that truly, um, that was when the biggest crack started to show for me, and I started to feel in my soul, I was like, I don't know if I can align myself. I don't feel like I'm a Christian anymore. Um, but it's not because I I don't feel worthy of being a Christian. It was that first feeling of like, I don't think I can say that I want to treat people like that. I I don't feel like I want to decide who's going to heaven or hell. I don't want to be the judge of any of that. And I felt like that's what that world is. It's just so full of judgment. Even though they don't say that, even though they will say God's our judge, blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, you're judging.

Christina Fletcher:

And it's like, it's an interesting thing because it's like I I'm I became really passionate about labels when I first started kind of de deregistering myself, I guess, in some way. Yeah. You know, I was like, so what am I? If I'm not this, what am I? And you get into this thing. Oh, I totally went through that too. Well, I need a term that I can give. It's like the business card, right? It's like, this is what I believe. Here, this sums it up. Yeah, and and then it's like when you meet people for the first time, you can say, but I'm this. And then they go, Okay, data gathered. You know, it's like this weird. Yeah. It's like, okay. And I remember telling people that, you know, I was a Christian, and then they'd be like, Oh, so you believe this and this and this. And I'd be like, No, okay, we have an issue. Yep. Like, so I get it. Now, I mean, now you you you do call yourself a witch, theoretically.

Crystal Dawn:

Yeah, I do, I do.

Christina Fletcher:

It's I'm impressed. It's more of like a this is like this is quite the journey. How did you how did you get into that? Because I mean, honestly, this is something that I do do talk to a lot of women about, and they're like, Okay, I don't know if I can fully claim that label.

Crystal Dawn:

Ooh, because then I know, and it did take a long time for me to even get comfortable with it for sure. Because I think that there's such an such an image that comes to mind, especially when you're coming from that world. There's such an image tied to it. Even if you're not in that world, there's such an image tied to what a witch is. And it's so diverse. It is so diverse. I have met so many women who align themselves with that term, who who identify as that term, and none of them are the same. And it's that to me feels like freedom in a weird way. It's like a sacred rebellion against what what the church wanted to label women, um, wise women, women who are sovereign, women who are independent. That's to me, that to me is a uh is a witch, is a woman who is her own authority, does not put her authority or power outside of her. And to me, that's what a witch is. Do am I a practicing witch in the other sense of like working with the elements? I love to get into working, working with objects and intention and things like that. Yeah, I have a part of me that really enjoys that. That's like my fun side. Um, and going out into the woods and finding twigs and gifts from nature and making offerings to nature. I love that too, but that's that's like my childlike essence coming through. But to me, truly, what a witch is is some is also somebody who stands up against injustices and it are is outspoken and shares her her opinions. And if that's not what somebody thinks a witch is, that's okay. Like you get to define it for yourself truly.

Christina Fletcher:

I love that so much because honestly, it does feel quite frankly, the the the church did put on a certain framework of what a witch is. A witch was never actually meant to be like that, it was supposed to be wise woman, healer, someone who does work with the elements, someone who's actually doing natural things, which is totally ingrained in that within us. And when you actually look at the concept of what a witch has become, it seems it literally is a smear campaign on that that was inflicted on something.

Crystal Dawn:

So because we don't fit into their agenda, their their perfect uh what they need from women in order to fulfill and continue to fulfill their agenda. And when I say they, I'm not speaking like pastors. I mean, maybe some of them, I'm sure a lot of them, but what I'm what I'm when I'm when I say they, it definitely gives this representation of like an us versus them mentality, and I'm not trying to make a div divide. But um there are people who have put this religion and this belief system on this planet with an agenda. A long time ago, too.

Christina Fletcher:

It started, it started a really long time ago.

Crystal Dawn:

Really long. We're talking thousands of years ago, and it has continued because it is so ingrained in our subconscious, and it just continues to indoctrinate generation after generation after generation. And I, because personally being somebody, one of one of a family that I absolutely love, and I still see my family still very much um within the church systems, and it's so it's hard for me to be like, oh no, it's us versus them. It it really is uh there are some people who really wake up from it, and there are some who feel that sense of security because that's what has been their sense of security, that's what that's what they feel safe in, and um it's heartbreaking, but also I can't judge that that's well and I think there's also I can't judge that exactly because so often what has those cracks that you talked about were the actual judgment that we would feel, and so therefore, I mean a huge uh my one of my biggest fears is hypocrisy.

Christina Fletcher:

I I I always watch out for myself. I'm like, I will not be a hypocrite, I will not be a hypocrite. It's like okay, I don't like being judged, so I cannot judge. That's fine. Every single person has their own path, and there's a gray there's this gray area with all religions where there's the doctrine that's being passed down, and then there's the people who practice, but they also, you know, I was raised by a woman who believed in church shopping. She she kind of didn't she just kind of went from denomination to denomination to denomination, and you know, she she turned Catholic, but she called herself a small c Catholic because it was about universality, not about Catholicism. It was like she had her own thing going with Jesus. She still does. And you go, yeah, okay. Yeah, funnily enough, from your definition, that would actually make her a witch. Exactly.

Crystal Dawn:

I was gonna say, you came from a woman who couldn't be put in a box, and there and even like coming from where I came from, I never thought that I would be actually almost in a sense, like teaching the truth of Jesus. And I like I sometimes I go, what am I doing?

Christina Fletcher:

This is where we we start pulling apart the gray matter, right? Because it's like we have the structure, which everybody thinks is actually Christianity. And it's not I just want to be like just to be clear.

Crystal Dawn:

Please don't.

Christina Fletcher:

It's like, okay, let like let's there's this, but then there's something deeper. So so let's actually kind of dive poke around a little bit about this because which is poking with a stick. Because really, you go like I always just imagine when I read Gnostic Gospels, when I look at like the you know, early Christian texts, and when I listen, when I watch your videos, I always just kind of, you know, you imagine like Mary Magdalene and Jesus, and you want imagine all of these people being like, Well, thank goodness it's about some more time. Somebody is talking about what we talked about, because so often it's totally misconstrued. Like this is not what's so often perceived as Christianity is not what Jesus taught.

Crystal Dawn:

A hundred percent. Yeah. And I think that's probably why there's a lot of um conversation around it right now. There's a lot of people wanting to hear the truth right now, is because we can sense it. Like our our instincts can sense truth in it, and in in parts of the stories and stuff, you're like, but but that's how like it's so manipulative in that way, and that's why there's so much hypocrisy, so much of this. Um everything is almost like a battle. You hear one thing in the Bible and then you hear the other thing, and then you're like, why is it so contradicting? This is so confusing. But that's how they they designed it, it's meant to confuse you. So you are at you are basically hearing the truth from one person at a pulpit, and that person is basically preaching their perspective, and so it's you have to be careful whose perspective you're listening to. And so my my mo is always don't just listen to what I'm saying, go please go re research it for yourself because what you find is fascinating, because the truth of who even Mary Magdalene was, the truth of who Yeshua was, is wildly different than what a lot of churches were teaching or and still teach. And I think that was reading Mary reading and researching about Mary Magdalene, I think was the biggest eye-opening aha because yeah, it was like that moment I finally had a mirror. Like I finally had a mirror in front of me because growing up within that system, girls don't have mirrors. There's there's no woman to look up to in that system at all. So all we know is what we're told of who we're supposed to be. And in that system, a lot of the times it's just you're supposed to get married to a man, you know, be obedient to a man, have his children, and you know, produce the Lord's army army and go to church every Sunday. Things that, you know, yada yada yada. It's never really supportive of um women going out and finding their true passion and having a career and um listening to their instincts and knowing who they are and having a voice and finding out who Mary Magdalene truly was is like, wow, this is a woman who you cannot put in a box. She had a voice, she had influence, she had knowledge, she it was one of those moments where you're like, Yeah, finally, like I feel like I can see myself in these stories that I that you look back now and you're like, well, that's why they didn't put them in there.

Christina Fletcher:

Well, and even the fact and it it just fascinates me how broken telephone has occurred through the time. I mean, like, really, and anyone listening, Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute. Can we just please can we get over it? She was not. And actually, what's fascinating, and this is what I mean by broken telephone, even the church will know, like, they withdrew that. Yep. In the 80s. Yeah.

Crystal Dawn:

Gone before. The Pope actually said, was it Pope Francis? I can't remember which Pope it was, but actually declared she was the apostle of the apostles.

Christina Fletcher:

Like, I think this was this was the who went, no, we made that up. Okay. Yeah. But we're not gonna go change the book. And no, no, no, can't do that. No. That can't do that. Can't do that. They're not okay. But only kings do that. Like, but all of a sudden you hear this and you go, Hold on. What are we talking about? Because actually the church admitted they made it up. So even they are being open about this. Like this is Yeah.

Crystal Dawn:

But it doesn't make people I mean, it makes some people go, wait, if you made that up, yes, what else is made up? What else has been changed? And when you open up that can of worms in place of open that can of worms, how do you not listen?

Christina Fletcher:

Yes, please do open the can of worms. Because it's no, and also let's remember it's humans with human intentions. Like from thousands of years ago, humans wanted a certain, you know, we kind of see it nowadays. They wanted a certain level of control and they wanted to things to go in a certain direction. So they used certain things to go in that direction. That's fine. It's human.

Crystal Dawn:

And it was an empire that put that that whole doc doctrine together, the whole doctrine of Christianity as we know it has been put together, not by just yes, prophets. It's they took words of prophets and they pieced it all together, and this was done within an empire, with an agenda. It was like, it would be like our government today going and picking through, I don't know, the Twilight series and saying this is who we believe is God. Like I mean, when you look at it for what it is, you're like, holy shit, how has this lasted for thousands of years?

Christina Fletcher:

And I mean, as you know, I think like it's it's so funny to imagine, you know, it it's it's it's you have Jesus who actually did speak certain truths. You had Mary Magdalene, certain truths. Yeah, this is the equivalent of AI making us say things nowadays that we don't believe. I you know, people talk about that now, and you know, like you know, we can laugh. My husband thinks it's hilarious when he watches Queen Elizabeth riding a scooter and AI. He thinks this is the funniest thing. And I'm like, yes, but i if I get well known, I don't want people making videos of me doing that, thank you so much. This is the equivalent of what we're looking at. This is like ancient AI.

Crystal Dawn:

Yeah, they took someone because if you can control somebody's perspective, you can control the narrative, the truth, you can control exactly the future.

Christina Fletcher:

And so imagine, you know, like a hundred years, two hundred years down the road, people watching a video of Queen Elizabeth watching a scooter should be like, Yeah, she did that. No, she did not. This is what happened to Jesus. I know. So we need to roll it back because what's phenomenal about when you actually get down to the true story or the true messages of Mary and Jesus and Thomas and all of these pieces of wisdom is it is actually like what you described, the witch. It is actually personal sovereignty.

Crystal Dawn:

Yeah, they were they were trying to tell people stop worshipping an empire. They were trying to tell people, t twelve, tell people God is within you. Do not worship an emperor as if he is God. Don't give him, don't go and give him your sacrifices, like you don't owe this person any money. They shouldn't have control over you. You are equal. And yes, they had the mysticism included in it. They went through mystery schools. It was, they traveled, they were they were well-cultured beings. And all of that isn't told, all of that isn't part of the story. And they talk about they did include Jesus flipping tables in temples, but like, but why? Nobody asks about that. Is that no? All they say is they were pissed off that they were in their father's health. Well, house, but explain why that was upsetting to him. Please tell us the rest of the story. And they seriously, I have so many people who'd like to jump down my throat and say I'm cherry pick picking the Bible. I'm like, oh, you're quite the kettle, because seriously, speaking of like you have to go into yes, come on. So I definitely believe that. I mean, Yeshua would probably consider himself a witch today. Um, Mary Magdalene would consider herself a witch, a priestess. Like this, you have to remember the time in history that this was all happening. Women were property, and it's almost like they're anybody who claims the Bible is ultimate truth is putting their name behind that. Women are property. It's like saying that two, you know, what was going on 2,000 years ago should still be happening today. Okay, well, if we're gonna say that, like we have a lot to talk about because because if you think that I hate that though, because the cherry picking that happens, it's just to justify what they they want. It's it's them trying to justify what what they believe is right or wrong. And um, I think the Bible has been weaponized for thousands of years because people can easily do that, because the Empire has been doing that.

Christina Fletcher:

Okay, we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back right after this. With the holidays fast approaching, you might already feel that familiar pull, the pressure, the expectations, the list that only seems to grow. And that old story of I'll just take care of myself later. Well, let's be honest. Later never really comes. You find yourself drained out by the end of the year and starting the new year on the wrong foot. Sacrificing yourself for the sake of the season never creates the joy you're actually craving and feeling called to. I get it. When life gets busy out there, it feels harder to stay grounded within yourself. That's exactly why I created the three practices for home holiday season. A simple self-nourishing guide to tools that help you hold center within yourself. And guess what? I'm gifting it to you. Inside, you'll find three grounding practices that help you come back to your center in under a minute, wherever, however, whenever. Plus, there's also a bonus seven-minute meditation to reconnect to yourself when everything feels really loud and busy. Because when you can quiet the noise around you, you can hear what's truly yours. You feel present, you feel heavy. You move through the season with energy, and we're feeling depleted. We need it. And that's like this season we really remember. Isn't that amazing though when you actually look at it as like agendas? When you actually look at how it's used, like it was it was compiled the way it was compiled, and for anyone who doesn't know, there were all these books that were actually taken out, like loads of books taken out, buried, destroyed, thank goodness for whoever decided to bury them somewhere for a better time. And so yeah, those they were compiled for a specific agenda, and now we watch as that still the agenda keeps changing in some little tiny ways, it maneuvers, but still people cherry pick for their personal agenda. I don't I mean, I suppose that every religion can deal with that. I think that that is um something that actually happens, especially in anything monotheistic that is, you know, kind of it's used for agendas. But oh monotheism, absolutely, you know, I I'm trying to very quickly as I'm speaking these words, trying to run through if any other like Eastern religions have that. And I'm like, I'm not sure. I shelve that. We'll see.

Crystal Dawn:

But it still stands that I believe anything that that tells you that your power is outside of you ha has an agenda. They there there should never be that message being given to anybody, is that you should trust something outside of you to tell you what's best for you. And um, they even have that narrative though within Christianity. I've heard it so many times in my DMs, in my messages, being being told or reminded, quote unquote, that anything self-serving is demonic and that is of Satan and things like that.

Christina Fletcher:

It's like, wow, well, actually it's so ingrained. Um programming. My husband went went on went to a church. Actually, I think it was here in the UK. He went to a church, it was quiet. All the churches are still open here, and so we have a thing of like, you know, oh it's a really great place to just drop and be quiet, you know, get away from the world and just meditate for a bit. So he was in there, ended up talking to a priest. Literally happened to mention the words, oh, well, you know, I just I can I can feel it in my heart and in my gut. He got kicked out. Yes, the priest literally said, You have to leave. That is Satan. And he Was like, I'm sorry. What? And it's amazing how, and I actually I I had a similar experience once, even in like you think for yourself, you must be able to do that. I remember I was in a child's class once, and I was like, Well, I want them to know the God within themselves. And the woman turned to like you can't say that. Don't ever say that. And I went, Oh, we have a problem. That's like one of my massive why this is an issue. So it's fascinating to know that your instincts and intuitive pull of your connection to spirit is exactly what Jesus and everyone wanted you to know. Yeah. Like it's it's so it's so baffling to actually for I know a lot of people listening to this might be like, oh mum, okay, wait. Like, this is actually bumping up exactly what we're talking about. It's like, well, that can't be from God. That the conversation can't be from God because we're saying it's from within you. But it's actually what Jesus said.

Crystal Dawn:

Yeah. I the way that um Emperor Constantine actually any of the emperors from like the the third to sixth. Um what am I but where's the word? Wow. The third to sixth. What am I trying to say?

Christina Fletcher:

Authority. Uh wow. No, council, council.

Crystal Dawn:

Wow. Um wow. The word is literally not even in my brain right now. Oh century. Okay, jeez! The third sixteenth century. Wow. Mainly to the fourth to the sixth century. That's when the actual Christian Christian um dogma, the religion, was being formed, when the Bible was being formed, all of that. That that's when the monotheistic Christianity even was created. Before that, there were many belief systems within the movement that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were leading. And um it it you have to you have to wonder, even when you're reading the Bible, if you were to go back and you were to read the Bible and you were to pick out all the times that the word Lord and God are used and how interchangeable they are, and how they're not always talking about some man in the sky. It's actually talking about either an emperor or a king or some highborn. And they're writing it as if it was some God Almighty in the sky who have done these things. And yes, they are also portraying that um because of the Nicene Creed that was decided by an emperor. The Nicene Creed of Christianity being under one God, the Father Almighty, was decided by an emperor. How could be interesting?

Christina Fletcher:

And I know wouldn't we just honestly love that?

Crystal Dawn:

There are there are millions, there are millions, if not billions, people praying to this quote unquote God in the sky. And I I can't help but say, like, I know that they feel things, I know that people experience miracles, I know that people when they go to church and they all sing together, they experience things. So I know that there is a higher power that we are all a part of, that we are all piece of. But but when you go into those spaces, you don't even give yourself credit for the power that's inside of you or the power that is in that room singing together. Because there is in even when you um research ancient mysticism and any of those, even the priestesses, even going all the way back to Sumerian times, like the way that they would sing in caves, it it would create this frequency that that would heal people. And so when you go into church, oh I'm getting goosebumps all down my legs. When you would go to church and you would you sing together, please remember that that is you, it is the people, it is a frequency. It is not because there is some outside man skyddy like pouring blessings down on you. No, you are calling them in, and that is you. The power is us together, together. And the more that we separate ourselves, are fighting each other, like the the less we will feel that, the less we will feel the miracles, the less we will feel the love between. We are one species. We are one species that has been absolutely ripped apart and pinned against each other. And if anything, I know that Yeshua and Mary Magdalene were trying to point that out too. And so being called back to pointing out where we have been divided, but using a book that is claiming and some man who lived thousands of years ago, his message being so twisted and co-opted like that by an emperor who literally killed his own family? Like, you have to ask the questions like who's benefiting from all of us hating each other?

Christina Fletcher:

Like, really? Whoa, I I just totally got chills because I think that's such a beautiful uh description of how this is. The fact that there is power in collective. I mean, and we know, we know, we know this. Like, there's enough scientific studies even that shows that when we all come together, there is a ripple effect. This is a powerful space, a powerful energy that comes. Yes, there is an outward flow, there's an outward field. We are tapping into something greater. There, there is a inner and an outer, and an outer and an inner. That whole environment does create this co-creation with the divine energy. Right. Totally. But uh it's interesting how we have been bred to lose our sense of worthiness. I want to ask you a really personal question. Can I ask you a personal question? Yeah. Okay. Absolutely lay it on me. I just get excited. How did you redefine your relationship with God?

Crystal Dawn:

That's a really big question. Wow, this is this is a really big question. I have known for quite a few years, since 2019. Um, it's when I first read the book. Uh not the universe has your back. It's her second, her other one after that. Um Gabby Bernstein, Super Attractor. Super Attractor was her first book that she put anything about spirit guides in. And I remember reading that, and that was the first time somebody who I really resonated with her work. I really resonated with her messaging. And um up until this point, like I hadn't been calling myself a quit a Christian. However, I think that comfort to me wise was still things like, oh, I would sometimes read the Bible, I would pray. Um, I was still doing Christian-like practices that I had grown up doing because it was a comfort to me. Something felt like nostalgic. It was safety. Yes, absolutely. Now, I had grown up hearing like you do not talk to spirits. Not only that, you don't even talk to the your loved ones that had passed. Like I remember when my grandpa died, um, I asked my mom if I could talk to Papa. And I remember her telling me, you can talk to Jesus, and Jesus will tell Papa your message. So, like we didn't even I know. I didn't even get to talk to my gatekeeping, right? Um, um, but no, this this book actually said it right then and there. She was talking about the angels that you can talk to. She was talking about everybody having spirit guides, and something about that pulled a veil back, and I was just like, I knew it. There was this instant feeling of I knew it. I have goosebumps because I had sensed things my whole life. Yeah, we all do. Yeah, we all do. If we're not shut down completely, we all sense these things, and um, especially as children. And so that was the beginning of I would call my spiritual journey the beginning of my deconstruction because I wasn't just building into this spiritual, um, mystical. I finally had permission to do so, but I was always curious about it. I mean, I would watch um Sylvia Borgham, I think her name was like the psychic and everything. I was so interested in this stuff growing up, but I was always like, oh, can't tell my parents that I'm watching these things because they would go crazy. So, anyways, it was finally like that book gave me permission to be curious about this stuff. And so it really started to unravel. Now, my dad went through a lot of um mental health struggles the last few years of his life, and he passed in 2022. Now, something happened after he passed away. It was that's a whole long story in itself. Totally not the time to go deep into that because it would take a long time to explain. Um, but there was, I was in therapy after he passed away, and I remember getting this. I kept seeing the number 121. And I, it was probably a good 12 months over a year that I was like, why do I keep seeing this number? I haven't figured it out yet. Something about this number is driving me nuts. Like, why do I keep seeing this number everywhere? Because it's not your typical like quote unquote angel number that you hear about in like spiritual circles and things like that. I'm like, what is this number? And for whatever reason, for whatever reason, uh that number led me down a rabbit hole of getting curious about how I was perceiving God, authority, um, self-trust, things like that. And I don't even remember the whole story, but I remember it was a huge realization I had when I realized that growing up, I saw my dad as an ultimate authority as a child. You you normally do. You look up to your parents like they are God. And when I saw his faith crumble, when I saw his um confidence crumble, his trust in anything, he went through a really tough time mentally. Um, that also was simultaneously breaking down my found foundation of what self-trust was, who I can trust, who who I need to have better boundaries with, who how powerful I am when I need space, I can say it, things like that. A lot of things like started to come online for me about the power of my voice. Um, and so he was even still teaching me from the other side things about who I was. And I realized in in some point of that that I was seeing 121 because I was sending myself a message that to trust yourself is to trust the universe. Your dad doesn't need to be in the middle of that, and to trust the universe is to trust yourself. No other person should be between that. No priest, no emperor, no president, no king, no husband, no nothing. Nothing should be in between you and the universe because trusting yourself is trusting the universe. And I remember it brought me to my knees. It was this moment of I have been working for years to find out just how to trust myself. And it was like right there. And then I then it then it's like a process of reprogramming your brain to do that, right? So I gave myself, I can't remember if it was my therapist or me that actually told me, like, why don't you try this? Um, but I gave myself a week. I I decided because I think growing up in a lot of fear-based ideologies um and dogma, you end up in that programming of constantly um catastrophizing everything and thinking the worst is gonna happen, constant like horrible images popping into your head. So I was talking to my therapist about this. I was like, oh my gosh, I think about this all the time. Like, why do I have these images of like my children, the worst happening to my children all the time? And it could have been the whole like um, what do you call the series? Um the end time series. What was it called?

Christina Fletcher:

Um wait, my daughter, I think, watched that.

Crystal Dawn:

Uh what was it called? Uh I just saw it the other day, too. Um, people who are listening are probably like, it's this. Left behind, the left behind series. So you're I mean, I grew up thinking that my parents, I could wake up one day and my family was gonna be gone because like I was the black sheep, right? I was the one who's dying. I probably wasn't going to heaven. So, anyways, you grow up terrified and thinking that the worst is gonna happen. Um, I gave myself permission for a week to trust, to completely trust that everything was gonna be okay. And every time I caught myself worrying and trying to control any scenario um and prepare myself for the worst case scenario, I promised myself that I would be like, nope, we're not gonna worry about that this week. Like, I don't need to control everything this week. And by the end of the week, I was like, I'm gonna give myself 30 days. This is great.

Christina Fletcher:

I love that.

Crystal Dawn:

And in that process, it was almost like I was trusting the universe outside of me, but slowly and slowly and slowly that trust got closer and closer and closer. And before I knew it, I was trusting myself fully. And I trust my steps now, I trust my words now, I trust my dreams now, I trust that I am guiding myself. Even if I don't logically understand it, I know that I am, and I trust that. And yeah, that's where I'm at right now.

Christina Fletcher:

That is a little bit more than a lot of things. No, no, no. But I love I love these stories because I think it's so important for anyone who's kind of teeter-tottering on the edge to actually understand what it actually looks like to walk that path. Because it can be a really long bad and because we have to train our brains and our nervous systems to actually feel safe with a different version of Divine. But what we do realize is that even though you uh I mean you phrase it as trusting yourself, what's funny is that you are actually by trusting the universe, you're finding the universe okay. You could hear the voice of the universe clearer because you'd gotten rid of the fear. And that's what people forget. We get rid of the fear, you regulate your nervous system, you feel safe in the arms of the universe. If you want to use kind of kind of this mystical concept, you feel safe in the universe. So you know you're gonna get that nudge. You know, I always call it the whack over the with the frying pan over the head, which the universe loves to deliver me. It has no problems being like, you're not doing that. And you feel it within yourself, and so you go, well, okay, so I feel this. I feel myself like where I constrict, I know that that's not that's the universe. Where I feel expansive, that's the universe telling me yes. So it's this amazing co-creation where you actually do find your divinity within yourself. People hear that if they're not there, they hear that as an ego thing of seeing yourself as divine. No, it's not. It's calming down the fear and actually having trust in the universe. So while everybody else is talking about having trust in God and being really terrified of the process, it's actually rewinding that and actually building that divine connection within yourself so that you have a direct line. I have to say, you're one, two, one. I don't know if it ever dawned to you. All I hear is one-to-one. Like it's oh my gosh, like that's how we write it in like a coaching session or something. It's a one-two-one, right?

Speaker:

Okay, yes, I see it now. I see it now. That's so funny. No, yes, exactly. No gatekeeper. You have one to one game.

Crystal Dawn:

That has been such a that is so cool. Yes, absolutely. That that's been my awakening is realizing that there has never been a gatekeeper. It's it's been invisible, and and I've been giving my power away to it for half plus of my life. And it there, yeah, just because that's what I witnessed, that's what I saw, everybody doing around me, that's what I was told, you know. And that's what indoctrination is, is you you're when you're born into these things, and even if you enter into them from a really vulnerable space, even not as a child, if you go into these spaces and you're feeling very vulnerable, you're gonna hear things that do feel comforting, but at the same time, sometimes they really are taking your power away from the situation and um putting it where it doesn't belong.

Speaker 4:

Absolutely.

Crystal Dawn:

Because it's not it's first of all, there's no accountability for a lot of things in within the church. Um, it's very much, oh no, you're forgiven for everything you do. And that's also true, but have you ever recognized how like you can be told you're forgiven? But if you don't forgive yourself, you don't feel it. You don't feel it. Absolutely. So you have to forgive yourself, like that truly. So people go to church truly, sometimes seeking this forgiveness that only they can give themselves. And um yeah, there's it's it's hard because like sometimes I do feel myself wanting to say things like, yeah, some people really do find safety and happiness and love within the church, but I truly believe it's just the community, it's the people. And I it's not really the messaging that is helpful, it's feeling support.

Christina Fletcher:

And honestly, I will say again, like I have no problems going and going finding an empty church and going and meditating in an empty church. I think that the energy of people of faith, that's a different thing. Because the faith, I used to say, hey, I love going to church as long as no one's talking. Like it's just like they just need to be quiet. Because as it all, right? I need to stop trying to interpret it. And I mean, uh ironically, it's like you know, the concept of the Catholic concept of a mystery, you go, okay, you're almost there. You're you're almost you're almost there. It's just that you tell people how to listen to the mystery, and therefore you've defunct yourself.

Crystal Dawn:

Yeah.

Christina Fletcher:

But the concept of the mystery of actually having faith in an unseen, having this kind of experience, and as a theater background, I will say that they do build it up so that you actually do have an emotional experience. Oh totally. That there is something in that. So I think if you can use it in some ways consciously, if you want, if that's where your nervous system goes, yeah, this is what I'm used to, this is the framework my brain actually registers as a divine connection, great, great, have it work for you, but do it consciously and don't give your power away. And if someone says don't do this because it's in the Bible, really double check. Because chances are it's not.

Crystal Dawn:

Yeah, it's either not, or that is absolutely not what it means or meant. But also, there are horrific things in the Bible, absolutely horrific, god-awful things in the Bible. And so if people want to go to the Bible to seek answers and need help for things, like, is that really the book that we're telling people to go to? It's like that brilliant.

Christina Fletcher:

I don't know if you ever watched that West Wing, the show West Wing. Oh, I'll send you a link. There's this amazing scene, 1990 series, West Wing. Oh, was it Martin Sheen? I think stands there, and there's like this really um fundamentalist Christian radio producer in the room who's very homophobic and preaches horrible, horrible things. And he kind of says, Oh, he's like, Well, you know, it's interesting that you pull that out. And he's like, you know, I'm wondering, um, I actually think I'm thinking of selling my daughter. So because that's in the Bible. And he lists all of the different and and you know, so do you think I can get a good price for her? But also, you know, we're not supposed to touch pig skins, so should I cancel the football games? Because or we're wearing mixed fabric. Yes, and he's like, so he pulled out all these things. He's like, So how do you think that should go? Like, how can I actually make that a policy for the country? Yeah, it's a fascinating thing when you do pull those things apart. I I I think I play that scene probably once a year just to be like, yeah, even in the 90s, we were still there. It's just we weren't actually totally bringing it to the surface. It's gotta be now.

Crystal Dawn:

Yeah, it it's like we've we've we've recognized it, I think. Last I mean throughout my however many, I'm 39 now. I feel like I've witnessed it in different spaces in songs and music and TV and things like that. It's like we've been recognizing that the Bible is very political. It is very, very political because it was used as a political tool. And but it's been spiritualized for so long that it's gonna take a lot of people to ask questions, but yet so many are told not to ask questions because if you're asking questions, then apparently you're like going astray or losing your faith or whatever, or not trusting in God. Um, you're a bad Christian or whatever, if you if you ask questions, but that's truly where we should be. We should be at asking questions.

Christina Fletcher:

Um I think there's something that with divine feminine is being felt so much more now. We have it's the access of this new time where we have this divine feminine energy flowing in, and within that, I don't know if I just played out. There, I just blinked for a minute. I don't so sorry. There you are. Sorry, there you are. Um divine feminine internet always goes a little funky, right? It's like that's too much energy. But it's like, oh here she's talking about that again. You know, we are finding this feminine energy, and that's not not a gender-based thing, that's not just women thing, it's just an understanding of of what we really are, and recal calibrating within that. And that is bringing up a sense of need for honesty and truth that the old stories have to fall.

Crystal Dawn:

Which is to me, is such a the divine feminine is honesty, is raw, unfiltered truth, and that is something that it has been taught out of men, it's been taught out of women, yeah. The divine feminine, and so it needs to come back and reclaim what it actually means because to us, femininity growing up even within that e even not even within the Christian culture, like media, the divine the feminine or female, whatever, it has been portrayed in a very meek. It it's you're either this or you're that, right?

Christina Fletcher:

Exactly. And yeah, within that it's time to actually reclaim that divine feminine is about honesty and faith.

Crystal Dawn:

Yeah. Oh yeah, and the trusting in your own intuition, your instincts, your natural wildness, your your instincts, your gut reactions. That's where I feel it is in my gut, my stomach. Um, if it's tight, I'm like, oh, I feel that. That's a no. That's a there's something else there that I need to, you know, process before I even answer this question, or whatever the case may be. It's or it's just a hell no. Sometimes I don't even need a reason. But truly.

Christina Fletcher:

Nope, not doing that. It's like, oh yes, this feels amazing. We're just doing it, and I'm diving in deep. Yes. Yeah.

Crystal Dawn:

Yes, yes. But it really is, it's in our body. Our body speaks, our body speaks, and I believe that the divine feminine itself is our bodies as well. And we are so taught out of trusting that, trusting our bodies, believing that it has wisdom and knowledge. Um, men included. Uh, we've all been taught out of that, and for a reason, because our our body doesn't lie, our body speaks to us louder than anything else, especially when it's in pain, when it's sick. You know, it's telling us something, and that is wisdom that is surfacing again through a lot of us, which I love. I absolutely have am obsessed with watching this divine feminine energy rise in many, many of us.

Christina Fletcher:

It's undeniable. Okay, I could talk to you for ages and ages, and I did say one of, I was like, you know, absolutely. I might just need to have you on over and over again. But first, first over and over. Let's get everybody, you know, on the on on the track of of making sure they follow your Instagram because this is where you're sharing so much of your patron because you have been shut down, people. She has been shut down a few times on her Instagram because that's if I disappear. That's how the systems work.

Crystal Dawn:

Let's let's be real. Yes, I've been censored. I've been censored on Instagram and TikTok. TikTok at least has given me warnings before shutting down. They've taken down some of my videos. Um, Instagram apparently just shuts you down or removes a video without giving you a warning. So, you know, that's fabulous. So when that happened, um, definitely freaked out for a couple days. Well, I had no idea if I was even gonna get my content back. Um, and at that point, I think I had just hit 500,000 followers. I was like, wait, what if this? I had to prepare myself. Like, what if I don't get this back? And I'm not gonna stop, but like, how do I keep going? And that was when I was like, I think it's time to start a Patreon. So I am on Patreon. It is Crystal Dawn Alchemy. It's um Crystal, my first name's C-R-Y-S-T-A-L, D-A-W-N-A Alchemy A-L-C A-L-C-H-E-M-Y. And that is also my Instagram handle, but with a four at the end, Crystal Dawn Alchemy 4. I also have a website, Crystaldonalchemy.com. I'm all well, I'm all over the place.

Christina Fletcher:

Okay, and we're gonna link all of those in the show notes and make sure that everyone gets to following you. Because honestly, this work is the most important work we can be putting our attention on right now. Thank you. I feel that so much too. And so, yeah, this has been an absolute joy. It's been magical. Yeah, it's been an honor so much for coming on and sharing all of your stories and all of your wisdom. And yeah, and we we will definitely have you back. So thanks. Definitely all right, you're stuck with me now. Thank you. Take care, bye.