Showing Up Whole

Permission to Ask: How to Gather Data on Your Life

• Christina Fletcher • Season 5 • Episode 14

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In a world that moves at lightning speed, it’s easy to forget we’re allowed to slow down. 

Today’s episode gently explores the art of curiosity,  a simple, spacious practice that helps you step out of pressure, perfectionism, and the nervous-system spike of always needing to “know” or decide right away.

Christina discusses how "curiosity" was one of her words of 2025, and how it changed everything.
 Instead of forcing decisions, rushing to have an opinion, or tightening around old habits, curiosity softened life, giving space to feel safe in the pause.

Inside this episode, we explore:

• Why fast-paced living restricts your ability to think clearly, feel centered, and hear your inner guidance
 • How curiosity opens the heart, expands possibility, and settles the nervous system
 • What “data gathering” actually means as a spiritual practice
 • How to observe yourself without judgment,  especially during stressful seasons
 • Why we stay addicted to drama and overwhelm (and how to gently step out of it)
• Simple questions to shift into curiosity anytime you feel rushed, pressured, or out of alignment

As we head into the holidays, a season full of expectations, traditions, and emotional noise, curiosity becomes one of the most grounding spiritual tools you can lean on. 

Just one pause, one hand to your heart, one honest check-in is enough to bring you back to your center.


  Grab your free guide: Three Practices for a Calm Holiday Season, plus a soothing seven-minute meditation to help you keep energetically centred this month. 

To learn more about Christina's January workshop CREATING AN INTENTIONAL NEW YEAR, check out her website!

Christina Fletcher is a Spiritual Alignment coach, energy worker, author, speaker and host of the podcast Showing Up Whole.
She specialises in practical spirituality and integrating inner work with outer living, so you can get self development off of the hobby shelf and integrated as a powerful fuel to your life.

Through mindset, spiritual connection, intuitive guidance, manifestation, and mindfulness techniques Christina helps her clients overcome overwhelm and shame to find a place of flow, ease, and deep heart-centered connection.
Christina has been a spiritual alignment coach, healer and spiritually aware parent coach for 7 years and trained in Therapeutic Touch 8 years ago. She is also a meditation teacher and speaker.
For more information please visit her website www.spirituallyawareliving.com

Want to uncover where you need the most energy alignment?
Take her new Energy Alignment Quiz to identify which of your energetic worlds (mind, body, heart or spirit) needs aligning the most!

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Christina Fletcher:

Welcome back to Showing Up Whole, the place where we discuss alignment in mind, body, heart, and spirit in every aspect of our lives. And today I want to talk a little bit about self-observation, about how to actually expand and open up to data gathering, to exploring about who you are and why things are affecting you, what you're actually feeling, and how to actually grow within yourself in this very busy life we live. And hi, welcome back. So we live in a really fast world. And the thing that actually often strikes me, and it has for years in various ways, is how fast we want things to be fixed, how fast we expect solutions to come in, how fast we expect ourselves to even understand things. It's like when you're in a conversation with someone and you are in a debate or something, you feel like you have to know your stance, your opinion, your understanding of something. We actually all hold ourselves back a little bit from actually saying, I don't know. I actually haven't thought about that. Um, let me get back to you on that. We hold ourselves back from that. And it feels like the faster we get, the more we have short form content that we kind of consume at lightning speed. It feels like we are shrinking our capacity to give ourselves time to pause and actually get curious. You know, every year I hold a New Year's workshop. Um, it's called Creating an Intentional New Year. Throughout that workshop, um, I offer my community the opportunity to choose a word of the year and actually really set an intention of the tone. I do the same process for myself. And this year, my one of my words of the year, because I usually pick two or three, one of the words was curiosity. I'm so tempted to pick this word again for 2026 because curiosity has painted this year with the most uh expansive, most opening up energy that has given me the ability to stretch my understanding of myself and of my opinions and of my world. Even just when you actually say, I'm curious about something, you can feel your heart opening with this awe-inspired questioning, kind of saying, Well, oh yeah, are you? Are you really curious? Okay, let's dive in. What do I actually think about that? It creates this space where you actually can slow down and not feel like you have to rush to prove yourself, rush to have a solution, rush to actually make a decision. And that I I do, I will tell you here and now, full disclosure, that is something that I actually have always struggled with. I've always felt like I've had to make a decision really, really fast. It's like when you have little kids and they're like, What are we doing today? And you like you have to have that decision made, or what are we having for dinner? And you kind of struggle, struggle to actually form the words as you quickly need to give that consistency to them. And that has kind of perpetuated through my life where it's like, I need to make a decision fast. And yet, over this year, opening up to a sense of curiosity, opening to an idea of data gathering in my life has given me this wider framework to work in. I'm allowed to not know. I'm allowed to not know um where I want to live next year or what I want for dinner. I'm allowed to not know um even my opinions about certain things that are happening in the world around me. I'm allowed to not know. And within that, I'm allowed to get curious. I'm allowed to explore. I'm allowed to be able to feel into what I really want and what's important to me. Because that can continually be changing. And I'm allowed to be curious about that. So I wanted to kind of come in and talk to you about this because it feels like we live in such a fast-paced environment. And, you know, we're coming to the end of the year, we're coming to a time of traditions and set frameworks of how we function this time of year. And it's funny because some of it is absolutely wonderful, right? You know, I'm enjoying the idea this year of actually pulling out decorations and a course, like offering, I'm I've already set up things for a winter solstice event and of I'm planning my New Year's workshop, like I was just saying. There's certain frameworks that are exciting and lovely to lean into, and it feels really good. And then you get into other ones that you're like, oh, what feels stuck? What feels stagnant? What do I not want to do this year? One of the things that over this year I've been really working with is actually perimenopause. And I've discovered that sugar is something that actually really makes my hormones unbalanced, you know, it spikes my cortisol, which throws everything else out. So I'm curious, I'm open, I'm exploring what does Christmas food look like without sugar? How do I actually lean into more less sweet alternatives? And whereas that used to mean that I would actually feel stressed to come up with a solution. I used to feel pressure, be like, oh my God, I need to really figure that out. Instead of that, it shifts to me being curious. I'm really looking forward to exploring other opportunities, other uh ways of eating, other ways of celebrating. It's it's interesting how I think, I think maybe honestly, curiosity has come from a space of knowing that I don't want to be stressed, that I don't want to feel that pushing pressure to get things done. I get curious about changing things around in my schedule to give myself more space. Over the summer, I actually worked mainly in the evenings because I wanted to enjoy the sun while it was here in the UK. On sunny days, it was like, you know what, I'll work late at night because it gave me the opportunity to really enjoy my life. So there's an opening up, there's a stretch of when you actually get curious about what you can change. It's amazing how often we actually will shut down change really fast. Um, I'll sometimes when I'm working with a client and I suggest, well, actually, you could do that differently. You can see this resistance of actually saying, well, no, because that's the way we do it. And you go, well, yeah, but even just getting curious about it, asking yourself whether something can be done differently doesn't mean that you can't come up with, no, actually, it has to be done the same way. That can be the answer that you come up with after gathering the data. But you, it's really important to actually give yourself that window of ease to actually explore what in my life is working, what is actually uh really feeling aligned right now, and what is actually feeling tight, what is feeling congested, what is feeling heavy, and then looking at those things and getting curious. Is there a different way that I can explore this? Is there a different solution for this? Maybe we can just change a few things around. Is there anything that can change? It's so vital to actually give ourselves a pause and get curious. And I don't know why we as humans have decided that fast-paced living and getting everything done as fast as possible and then holding on for dear life is actually our best way of doing it. It's so triggering for the nervous system. You can feel your whole body tense up. And even within that, there can be curiosity within that. There can be a space of saying, so why do I feel that way? Why am I rushing? Why do I need to give myself this pressure? Something shifts within yourself when you invite in the intention of curiosity. Um, and again, let you hear me saying things like data gathering. I I want to go a little bit more into what that means. What is data gathering? How do we actually do it? Um, and and you know, I have to say, I think the thing that actually holds us back is the resistance to gathering that data and getting curious and slowing things down. I've actually found that it's the one thing that really holds us back from spiritual connection. So I'm gonna get into that in just one sec, just after this. With the holidays fast approaching, you might already feel that familiar pull, the pressure, the expectations, the list that only seems to grow. And that old story of I'll just take care of myself later. Well, let's be honest. Later never really comes. You find yourself drained out by the end of the year and starting the new year on the wrong foot. Sacrificing yourself for the sake of the season never creates the joy you're actually craving and feeling called to. I get it. When life gets busy out there, it feels harder to stay grounded within yourself. That's exactly why I created the three practices for a calm holiday season. A simple self-nourishing guide to tools that help you hold center within yourself. And guess what? I'm gifting it to you. Inside, you'll find three grounding practices that helps you come back to your center in under a minute, wherever, however, whenever. Plus, there's also a bonus seven-minute meditation to reconnect to yourself when everything feels really loud and busy. Because when you can quiet the noise around you, you can hear what's truly yours. You show up more present, you feel spacious, you move through the season with energy instead of always feeling depleted. This year, let's choose a calm. We need it. Let's choose alignment. That's what we came for. Let's choose to be blessed, not stressed. So grab your free guide and the meditation in the link in the show notes. And let's make this the season we really remember. Okay. So let's let's like let's just recap. Okay. So curiosity is that space of opening yourself up to change and to just gather some data about yourself. It's churning your attention inward and actually asking yourself if things can be different, why you're feeling something different, the way you are, if there's a way of allowing yourself more space, more time, maybe even just asking yourself, what am I feeling right now? And get giving yourself the allowance to observe yourself and your reality. And when I say data gathering, you know, it's it's funny because we talk about data gathering all the time in so many different realms of things. If you're doing a project, you're like, okay, we need to gather the data. If you're looking at marketing or something like that, it's like you gather the data. We forget that we can gather the data of ourselves. So it's important to actually look at the things in your life and slow down and gather the data. Once a week, I look at my planner and passion planner, really good. Um, and I gather the data of my my week, what worked, what didn't work, and how do I allow that to flow differently? And I have to say that as soon as you do this, like I'm like I've said before the break, as soon as you do this, as soon as you give yourself the window of time to get curious and gather the data, you see things differently. You see where you're giving yourself more stress than needed, you find solutions that feel easy, you get to know yourself on a totally different level. Um, and within that, it means that you actually slow life down. So I mentioned that I have discovered that the reason why we don't want to gather the data, the reason why often we push and we push and we push is actually because of our addiction to drama. And the more I dive into spiritual life and self-development and spiritual connection, the more I realize that drama, that addiction to friction, as I like to call it, is actually what holds us back from spiritual connection. Um the reason why that is, is because when we're in the drama, when we're in that human frame of mind, um everything from victim mode of being like, oh my God, I'm so stressed, I'm so busy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and keeping focused on what's not working, um, all the way to talking about other people and being kind of in the gossip mill and allowing emotions to kind of resonate in that drama, intense feeling space. As long as we're in that space, um we we kind of feel like there's a sense of belonging with others. We can kind of feel this, we're in a bit of the hive mind, as we call it, where where there's this sense of we have something to complain about with others. We have um everybody else is getting really, really stressed, and we can connect in that stressed-out space. There's a sense of feeling really overwhelmed and talking about how overwhelmed we are, and everyone, you know, talking about all the people you have to cook food for, or how stressed you are to go see your partner's family over Christmas, or any of these things that just build and build and build. There's a sense of belonging that comes with that. And when you actually get curious with yourself and you give yourself permission to pause and gather the data, you can feel yourself release the drama and actually look towards your own inner peace. And that inner peace will then reconnect you to your heart and to your divine center. And then you gather more data and you go, oh, well, actually, me asking how I'm feeling, and as I connect deeper into myself, I am feeling more connected to my whole self and to my spiritual source. You find that pause and reflection, and you find this opening sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. You breathe deeper, you you feel more connected to inner guidance. And at the same time, it means that the drama feels further away from you. You kind of observe the drama differently. All of a sudden, it's like, okay, well, you can see where the overwhelm is, but then you ask yourself how you want to deal with it differently. You can observe your massive schedules and all the people you have to cook with, and you get curious about it and go, so what's necessary, what's not, and what do I need to feel better in this situation? When you train yourself for curiosity and self-observation, when you gather the data about your reality, then you also observe your own drama. You understand that it's like, oh, I'm actually getting curious about, well, why am I getting so uptight about this? Why is this so stressful? What is going wrong? And what is going right? And is there a way of changing this? Suddenly, when you get curious about your own drama, you ask yourself why you're partaking in it. And then you might find that it is actually just because it gives you that connection and that sense of belonging to the people in the world around you. But then that leads to new curiosity and new data gathering, and asking maybe even them how they feel about it. Drama is addictive. And as someone who, I mean, a theater major, that was me, I understand how drama can feel really exciting and exhilarating, and it can feel like you're really part of something. It kind of, we tell ourselves that when we're in a dramatic state, it can make every day feel a little different. Um, and it does. It's it's it's nice to have something to talk about with other people. And it's so funny because I remember observing within myself and getting curious about what it would be like to actually not talk drama with friends. And occasionally I would almost feel like if you the minute you mentioned what was going well and you didn't act with a certain level of drama and intensity, it's amazing how all of a sudden the conversation just kind of melt away. It was all of a sudden like, oh, well, there's not much to talk about if we're not going to talk drama. But when you get curious and about yourself and about your own inner peace, when you actually get curious about what makes you actually happy, you realize that that dramatic intensity is actually just really, really triggering your nervous system. And you lose that sense of grounded stability within yourself. And again, I will say, this is what I've observed by getting curious. It's what I have found by getting curious about myself and exploring and gathering the data. Okay, so so let's let's just talk about how you start this, right? If if you're if you're kind of wondering what getting curious as we head into a really, really fast-paced time of year, here we are, 17th of November. It, you know, it is, or whenever you're listening to this, we are headed into a faster pace of life. And it is important to actually lean into what getting curious within that looks like. So where do you start? Okay, first question. And I'm gonna ask you questions. First question: how are you feeling right now? Hand on your heart, how are you feeling? Give yourself permission to gather the data about how you are feeling in this moment. Are you feeling rushed? Are you feeling stressed? Are you feeling calm? Are you feeling present? Are you feeling excited? There's no right answer. The great thing about getting curious about yourself is that it's not about right or wrong. It's not about having, um, it's not about judging yourself. It's not about actually tapping up and being like, oh, actually, I'm really stressed right now. I'm feeling really dramatic. And Christina said not to be dramatic. It's a question of actually just observing, saying, Oh, yeah, actually, I am, I'm stressed. And knowing that within that sense of feeling stressed, that's just data. How you're feeling is data. If all of a sudden you're like, well, I'm actually feeling rather anxious, good to know. You're observing yourself. That's gathering data. Okay, so you you find out how you're feeling at this moment. Next. What feels lighter right now? What would feel light within yourself? Get curious. Gather the data. What are you feeling called to in this moment? What about how you what do you need? What do you need right now? Get curious. It's a question of starting small. And I think the the number one most important step when you're curious and data gathering is not to judge. And not to worry about the the right answer or the wrong answer, not to feel like you're supposed to quickly shift into alignment, but actually get curious and gather the data about your unalignment. We all fall out of alignment sometimes. So get curious about yourself. Lean into it. Why? What do you need? What's feeling off? You can then look at further spaces to don't allow this to get into a spin. It's not a question of spiraling into, oh my god, I've got to re-examine my entire life right now. That's not what we're looking at. Rather, when something comes up, give yourself permission to get curious about it. Oh, that feels stressful. Why does that feel stressful? Oh, am I getting caught up into drama? Am I starting to um am I into fear? Is something actually making me scared of change or of development? Or am I holding on to this for some reason? We're really just talking about the power of observing ourselves. But I think that in this world where we have a tendency to scroll or distract ourselves away from actually going deep within, it's really important to give ourselves the permission to just lightly get curious, to observe ourselves without any agenda of shame or weight or a sense of needing to resolve issues really, really quickly. Because that's what so often comes up in this. It's like, I have a problem, I need to fix it. Rather than I'm having some stress, I need to get curious and figure out what this is. It's amazing what happens when you actually gather the data of your life. And it's amazing how all of a sudden you can actually maneuver that data and you maneuver with that curiosity the the various openings that pop up for you, so then you can actually shift it to create new intentions and to create new steps that actually feel more alignment to yourself. And it's so funny. I mean, like the the details of the end-of-year workshop or the the new year workshop is barely out yet. So all I can basically tell you is that we're going to be doing it twice online in January this year. We're not doing it at the end of December. We're doing the end-of-the-year workshop in January. So it's in between New Year's and in Blick, so everybody can kind of get this space of really soaking in the energy of their intention. Um, I believe it's January 3rd and January 10th, but that's to be confirmed. Um, you'll be hearing all about it soon. Uh, but that's the point of the workshop is to really open things up of the year that has been and the years before, and actually ask yourself: so, what actually do I think, feel, want, desire, what calls me into who I am? And get curious about who you really are and who you've become, because we're always changing, we're always growing. You have to get curious about your growth and in a beautiful space of self-compassion and non-judgment, because you don't need to judge yourself. You have been doing the best you can. So now it's a question of getting curious and ask yourself if you need anything for this to go differently. And yeah, I also highly recommend that you give yourself permission, whether it gives you belonging or not, to step away from the drama this year and give yourself inner peace instead. All right, sending all my love and light. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions. And I look forward to next week's conversation. Bye now.